


Speak

by gilesbabe



Series: In A Lifetime [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-12
Updated: 2014-10-12
Packaged: 2018-02-20 22:47:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2445980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gilesbabe/pseuds/gilesbabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean speaks to Cas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Speak

"Dean I would feel better if you slept downstairs in the study. What if you fell and we didn’t hear you? If you were downstairs we would know if something happened.”

Dean gave a little snort. “Sammy, I understand that you are worried, but I need some privacy. At the hospital that door was open all the time, anybody walking by could look in. There were times I could feel someone staring at me, but when I would ask who was there, they wouldn’t answer. It was freaking me out. It got so bad the last few days that didn’t want to take my meds cause I was worried about people coming in to look at me while I was asleep.”

Dean sat down on the bed. “It would almost be the same here. The study is wide open. I would never know when you or Bobby was looking at me from one of the other rooms. Up here I have a door I can shut and know that I’m alone.” He lay down and stretched out with a sigh. “I paced out this room and the bathroom, and you cleared everything off the floor, right?”

“Right.” Sam replied.

“Well then, I can’t trip over anything in here, and I promise I won’t try to go down the stairs unless you or Bobby is with me. Deal?”

Sam signed. “Dean,” he began.

“Besides,” Dean cut in, “this is only until Cas comes and fixes me, so no need to make any permanent changes.”

There was a long pause. “Dean, it’s been three weeks. I think Cas would have showed up by now, don’t you?”

Dean sat up on the far side of the bed, his back to Sam. “So it’s taking him a little while to get out of whatever trap Raphael put him in. Cas will find a way.”

Sam moved over and put his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Dean,” he said softly, “maybe Cas isn’t trapped. Maybe Cas is dead.”

“No! Cas isn’t dead.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I think I would.”

Sam stared at him in disbelief. Dean chuckled. “Stop giving me that face.” Dean shrugged. “I think I would know. He’s not dead. He’ll be here when he can.”

Sam shook his head but didn’t say anything. He went over to the dresser and opened a bottle of pills and brought two back over to Dean with a bottle of water. “Here, take your meds.”

Dean scowled, but swallowed the pills and lay back on the bed. “Night, Sam.”

Sam wanted to talk more, but was willing to let Dean put it off. At least for now. “Night, Dean. I’ll be up to get you in the morning.” He turned off the over head light and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Dean heaved a deep sigh and listened carefully to the sound of Sam walking down the hall then going down the stairs. He gave it a couple of minutes to make sure no one was coming back up the stairs then said, “Hey, Cas.”

He stopped, cleared his throat, and started again. “So, um, maybe I’m crazy but somehow I think you can hear me. If not, then I guess I just need to talk to someone who can’t talk back, can’t tell me how I should or shouldn’t be feeling, and you’re it. I love Sammy, don’t get me wrong, but I’m about ready to hit him. He acts like I’m made of glass and I’ll break if I stub my toe.”

Dean paused. “First things first. If Sam really did see you that day, then you know I was hurt pretty bad. In fact it was worse than it looked. My face is scarred and the doctors said I’ll need surgery later to remove some of the scar tissue or I’ll have trouble talking and eating, anything that uses the muscles in my cheeks and jaws. But, that’s down the road. The big thing is my eyes.”

Dean had to swallow hard before he could continue. “I’m blind now, Cas. Flying debris severed the optic nerve in both my eyes.” He had to stop again and take a couple of deep breaths. “But that’s not what bothers me the most. What bothers me is not knowing where you are. Blind I can learn to live with, but, damn it, Cas, we were just starting to get our friendship back on track then that douche Balthazar had to pull that stunt and I started yelling at you again.”

“I told Sam that I was sure you are alive, that I would feel it if you were dead. I hope I’m right.” Dean yawned. “Crap, these meds kick in fast. I’ll be mumbling here in a couple of minutes. So, stay alive, Cas. Find a way out of whatever trap old Raphie put you in.” He yawned again. “Talk to you later. Night, Cas.”

********

One month later and not much had changed. Sam was still treating Dean like he was fine china, Dean was goading Sam every chance he got, and Bobby was thinking locking Sam in the panic room. Or Dean. It didn’t matter which one, they were both getting on his nerves. Dean continued to speak to Castiel every night before he went to sleep, but he was getting discouraged. The phone call brought a welcome diversion.

Bobby came in from the study. “Friend of mine down in Sioux City needs some help. She’s pretty sure there’s a nest of vampires in a little town near there, Sergeant Bluff. It’s not that far, but it’ll probably take a couple of days. I’ll be leaving here shortly.”

Dean sat up from where he had been slouched on the couch listening to an episode of Dr. Sexy. “Take Sam with you.”

“No, Dean,” Sam protested, “I won’t leave you here by yourself. What if something happened?”

“Sam,” Dean growled. “What the hell can happen to me here? I’m safe here, but Bobby doesn’t need to be facing a nest of vampires by himself.”

“His friend can help him, the one who called.”

“Actually she can’t,” Bobby said. “She’s just an informer. Someone who knows about things and keeps an eye open. She calls me so I can send a hunter her way. I’ve got several people around the country that do the same thing. How do you think I get all of my tips? Anyway, no other hunters are in the area and vamps aren’t something you just ignore. I’m going.”

“And you’re going with him.” 

“No, I’m not. I’m staying here with you.”

“Damn it, Sam, I need to learn how to do things myself.” Dean yelled, “Are you planning on being my fucking seeing-eye dog for the rest of our lives?” He stomped in the direction of the stairs.

Sam watched and as Dean stepped on the first stair he said, “Are you ready to admit that Cas is dead?”

Dean jerked to a stop, his hands clenched in fists. “No. He’s not dead.” He continued up the stairs and a few moments later Sam heard the bedroom door slam.

Bobby slapped Sam across the back of his head. “Idjit. Don’t push him about the angel.”

“He has to start facing facts, Bobby.”

“So do you.”

“What?”

“Dean can take care of himself, at least for a couple of days, as long as we make a few preparations.” Bobby shook his head, as Sam started to protest. “We have to let him try, Sam, or this could break him.”

Sam looked at Bobby, tears in his eyes. “I can’t risk it. You know how close it was. I don’t want to lose him, Bobby, not now, not after everything we’ve gone through.”

Bobby patted him on the shoulder. “He’ll be fine. Like I said, we’ll get some things ready and I’ll have my friend Jody drop by. He’ll have his cell phone. He’ll be okay.” Bobby took a few steps towards the kitchen, then stopped. “And, just maybe, he’ll admit to himself that Castiel isn’t coming. It’ll give him a chance to grieve for the angel,” he said softly. “He’s stubborn, and he won’t back down in front of us. Not yet. But this might be a start.”

**************

Dean was lying on the bed, trying not to think, when there was a soft tap on the door. “Dean?” Sam asked quietly. “Can I come in?”

Dean sat up. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, about what I said about Cas. And you’re right; Bobby can’t face a nest of vampires alone. But I have a couple of conditions.”

“Of course you do.”

“You stay downstairs. Sleep in the study, or on the couch in the living room. No cooking. Bobby has made a bunch of ham and roast beef sandwiches and they are on the top shelf in the fridge. Chips and cookies are in the cabinet next to the fridge. Oh, and take your meds. I know you don’t think you need to, but the doctors said take them until they are gone, and you have a weeks’ worth still to go. I have each dosage in little cups on the kitchen table. The cell phone is to be with you at all times, and leave it turned on; the charge won’t run down in just two days. Bobby has programmed a couple of numbers into the speed dial for some local people who can come if you need help. Okay?”

Dean was stunned. They were going to let him stay by himself. Damn, he never thought that Sam would do it. “Sure, that sounds reasonable.”

“Come on back down, we’re getting ready to leave.”

“Now?”

“Sooner we go, the sooner we’ll get back.”

“True.”

Five minutes later Dean closed and locked the front door. He stood listening until he could no longer hear the Impala, then made his way back to the sofa. Wow. Two days alone, maybe three. Dean chuckled. Alone. He could do anything he wanted; listen to his music as loud as he wanted, stay up all night with the TV on, hell, he could even strip and walk around the house naked. No one to see, no one to bother him.

Hmm. Naked. That was an idea. He ran his hand slowly down his chest and pressed lightly over his cock. He had not had any ‘alone’ time for quite a while. Of course he couldn’t look at his most recent issue of Busty Asian Beauties, but he had a good imagination. He popped the button on his jeans, then stopped.

Bobby and Sam hadn’t been gone very long, they could still come back. In fact if Sam didn’t come up with some reason to come back at least once he would be really surprised. So, no ‘alone’ time just yet. And he’d be willing to bet that Bobby had asked someone to ‘drop by’ just to check up on him. He’d better leave the ‘alone’ time until he was positive that he wasn’t going to be interrupted.

Dean sighed. Listening to Dr. Sexy wasn’t nearly as much fun as watching. He hadn’t realized how much of the show depended on being able to see the interactions of the characters. Most television shows were that way. None of the music channels played the classics, just modern crap, so they were out too. That left the news channels or the weather channel. At least on those they said the time, so he would be able to keep track of how slow the day was going. Guess he’d talk to Cas a little early today.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean started. Off to his left came the sound of wings. Startled, Dean sat up, his head automatically turning towards the sound. “Cas? That you?” No answer. Dean stood up, frowning. “Who is it? Who’s there?”

“Well, what have we here? Has dear Castiel’s toy been broken?”

He had only heard that voice once before, but Dean recognized it and he felt a chill run down his spine. “Raphael,” he growled.

“I’m flattered that you remember me,” the voice came from his right and Dean swiveled to face it. “Then again,” the voice was now behind him, close behind him, “you do have the reputation for paying close attention to attractive women and I believe, that by human standards, this vessel is attractive.”

A hand gripped his left arm, keeping him from turning again. The hand slid up his arm and under the sleeve of his shirt, settling over Castiel’s mark. Raphael’s voice purred into his ear. “Castiel warned me that if I touched you he would, how did he put it, ‘fucking destroy’ me. Well, Castiel, I’m touching your precious Dean and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Dean stood frozen, not in fear, but in shock. When Raphael’s hand covered the mark, he had started hearing Cas’ voice in his head. 

Raphael chuckled. “I wish you could hear him, Castiel has learned how to blaspheme like a human. The words he is using are quite inventive.”

Dean realized that Raphael didn’t know that he could hear Cas too, and he intuitively knew that it was important that Raphael didn’t find out. He licked his suddenly dry lips. “Yeah, he’s probably pretty pissed.”

Raphael laughed and gave Dean a shove, pushing him down onto the couch. “I’m not hurting your human, Castiel, not yet, but if I wanted to there would be nothing you could do to stop me. This is going to be much more amusing.” Dean heard the flutter of wings, and could feel that Raphael was gone. He took several deep breaths to calm down.

“Cas, Cas, it’s okay, he’s gone. He didn’t hurt me; I’m fine.” Dean started laughing. “Dude, who have you been hanging with lately? You sure as fuck didn’t learn those words from me.” Dean paused. “Cas, I could hear you. When Raphael touched me, he put his hand over your mark and I could hear you. There has to be some way that we can use that. Just hang in there, Cas. I’ll find you and get you out, I promise.”


End file.
